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Left a voice mail on my home phone tryna get a booty call. Home and Helen are so close...That Drunk |
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had a you wont moment. Someone was in the porta potty at a concert and got a stranger to tip it over by just saying you won't, he was...That Drunk |
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Texted my mom, "MOM I LOST MY VIRIGNITY," she said, "WAS IT WITH THAT CHUNKY GIRL YOU'VE BEEN DATING???." im 23 and have been dating the same girl for 4 years....THAT drunk |
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grabbed my razor and towel to go take a shower and fell asleep on the razor and cut near my wrist, and now my parents think suicidal. . .that drunk |
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i blacked out and apprantly rejected a really hot girls offer to have sex D:. that drunk |
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Just got home from a party with a friend, asked him to score a girl for me, who was texting. Then i got mad athim for stealing my phone. That Drunk |
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Once I wanted to test if I was ok to drive, so I played Mario Cart, That Drunk. |
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spent $80 on dollar beer night? |
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so i woke up and checked my email...I guess I signed up for some cougar dating website...Thatdrunkk |
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sent a text that said, "you better not pull some waking up at 2 in the afternoon shit, we have weed to smoke."...That Drunk |
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug...That Drunk |
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some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at my door and asked 'do i live here?' he was...That Drunk |
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A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together...That Drunk |
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a cop at the party i was at last night asked who had a gun, i was so drunk i thought he said who had fun so i raised my hand...That Drunk |
